Turning a new leaf: these Victorian-inspired 'flirtation cards' are flipping the script on dating apps
Unlucky in love? Maybe ditch the apps. This new twist on Victorian-era ‘flirtation cards’ could spark your next meet-cute
conseil.margueritedyouville.ca –
Tired of swiping, singles are attending flirting parties and even dating-oriented run clubs in hopes of meeting their future partner in real life.
But even those lack the romanticism of a true meet-cute. The Brooklyn-based stationery brand No Particular Order is offering a more serendipitous option: its new acquaintance cards that encourage more spontaneous connections.
Like a business card, you give them out to people you meet – but they foster romantic connections instead.
The brand’s founder, content creator Margot Lee, came up with the idea after exiting a long-term relationship and feeling pressured to get on the apps. “I really did not want to do that,” she said. She wanted to connect with people through “happenstance of being at the same place at the same time.”
No Particular Order Acquaintance Cards
She was inspired by flirtation cards, which were used in the Victorian era to ask a potential beau on a date. With phrases such as “May I see you home?” and “I very much desire to make your acquaintance,” the cards offered a furtive way for men to show their interest to women in public, where the latter was often accompanied by a chaperone.
Lee’s modern-day versions are more inclusive, but they’re just as playful. They prompt you with introduction options to circle or fill in: first, you choose the greeting: a “hey” or shyer “um”.
Next, you circle one of the 10 provided compliments (or fill in a blank for your own) about why that person caught your eye: their smile, outfit and even “energy”, to name a few. And circle when you hope to hear from them: an eager “soon”, or a less committal “someday”. And don’t forget to add the most important part: your contact info at the bottom.
Even the design of the card holder – the red and white packaging of a retro cigarette case – draws from an era before dating apps: “So much of vintage cigarette ads are based on flirting and making a move,” Lee said. “I like what you like,” reads one 1930s example picturing a man and woman happily smoking together.
As for ways to use the cards, “one of my favorites is handing it to someone and saying, I think you dropped this, and then walking away,” Lee said.
If you don’t (or can’t) make a swift exit, it’s a handy conversation starter. “[My friend] gave one to someone on the subway that she thought was really cute. They ended up going on a date,” Lee said. She heard it went “really well”.
Or, play Cupid by filling and giving one out for someone else – at the top, simply circle “my friend’s name” and write theirs. (They would also make a great gift.)
No Particular Order Acquaintance Cards
The cards are already a hit on social media, where the brand’s video of the cards in action recently went viral: “bye bye hinge,” read one of hundreds of comments. “I just impulsively bought solely bc of this video,” read another.
As gen Z, my experience with dating has primarily been through apps. So, while a bit nervous, I knew I had to try out the cards for myself.
Do acquaintance cards really work?
To successfully hand one out, I needed backup.
So, one Saturday night, I rounded up a couple of my single friends and we ventured into downtown Manhattan, equipped with nothing more than our cards and a singular pen that kept getting lost in my giant purse.
We started at a local music venue, keeping our eyes peeled. The indie rock was great, the potential pool of options not so much. (Much of the crowd seemed too young.) When we migrated to a dive bar, still no one caught our attention. I was growing tired and ready to throw in the towel.
Then, as my friends and I were about to walk out the door, I looked to my right. There sat a group of people chatting away at a table, unaware of our mission. They seemed our age, and approachable with a relaxed air. I decided I wanted to give my card to one of them – but this was my first time making a first move, and a wash of panic overtook me.
My friend wasn’t letting me off the hook so easily. While I timidly waited outside, she sauntered up to the table and handed my card to the person I’d pointed out sitting closest to the bar’s exit. She gave another to someone at the same table for our similarly shy friend waiting with me.
After what felt like years, she exited the bar. To our surprise, she said they gushed over the cards, saying what a great idea they were. All we had to do was wait to see if they called.
$22 at No Particular OrderSure enough, 20 minutes after arriving home, I got a text: “hey, I got your card.”
The cards had worked their magic. On an app, neither of us might have swiped right. But here, I’d entered that more nerve-wracking, but realer place where anything could happen.
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